I don’t know if everyone experiences this, but I figured I’d share in case I’m not alone.

The wedding’s over. Honeymoon has come and gone (dammit). Reality picked right back up where we left it… we came home from the Dominican to a house that looked like a wedding had gobbled it up and spit it back out… twice.

We opened presents, started (and are still working on) thank you notes, cleaned up messes, went back to work (it hit me like a ton of bricks after almost two weeks off), and got back into a routine.

After a couple weeks, this indescribable feeling crept up on me.  As indescribable as it may be, I’m going to try to describe it.

It felt kinda empty.  Not negative empty, but more of a “holy shit that really happened?!” empty.  Like a void in time, not space (sorry for getting all weird on you, here… I realize how little sense this makes).  I started to feel like I didn’t do anything for the wedding, like it didn’t feel like a real wedding, like it was rushed and thrown together (which, if you’ve been reading this blog since May 2010, you know it wasn’t).

There are two main reasons I think I started to feel this way:

1. I wanted everything outside, and, well, the reception had to be crammed into a teensy building because of rain.  I wasn’t heartbroken then, but I really do wish I had pictures that looked back on an outdoor reception; pictures that look like what I thought they’d look like (this goes back to setting realistic expectations and having a Plan B… and C… and D). I think that by not having a concrete rain plan, I set myself up to feel this way.
2. I didn’t do much of the setup that day.  Since we moved it inside, my amazing mother spearheaded Operation: Rodriguez Wedding Setup and Take Down. I thought I’d have more of a hand in it.  If I had, I think I would have been way more stressed out (Mom, I owe you big time); but again, I expected to get my hands dirty and I didn’t to the extent I had planned.

That being said, there were some details that just weren’t the way I wanted (or expected) them to be, not all of my chairs matched (long story short, the venue had nice wooden chairs, but rental company couldn’t match them so it was an ugly mix), I wanted more candles on the tables, It was hot as HELL, and it flew by (I know everyone who’s married says this, but I swear to you: it’s 100% absolutely positively true).

Now for the turn-around.  This feeling is like that feeling you have when you get dressed in the morning in an outfit you think is going to be really cute then you feel “meh.”  But, you wear that outfit anyway, and everyone at work tells you you look great.  The disparity is in your head.  You may feel ”meh” but you actually look great!

EVERYONE we’ve heard from has told us that they had the time of their lives at our wedding.  Everyone has said that it wasn’t too hot, that they didn’t notice the chairs, that it didn’t look like we intended to have an outdoor wedding and pulled it inside at the last minute (thank goodness), and that everything was awesome; from the food to the DJ to our dresses/tuxes, to our informal cake, to the dessert table, kegs, the ceremony… the whole nine.

People loved it.

I blame wedding blogs and magazines.  The reality, budget brides, is that we spend our time looking at these blogs that show us beautifully staged weddings, great details, etc.

But you know what? When you have a $10K budget, you can’t hire a team of lackeys to set everything up, stage it for the photographer just right.  You can’t pay for your venue for 48 hours to have almost unlimited time to set up.  You don’t have the money to rent chairs for the ceremony AND the reception (if you’re like us, with 200 guests).

At the end of the day, I think my wedding was a success.  But since I filled my head with images of perfection I found on Pinterest and wedding blogs, I walked away (weeks later, not instantly) feeling a little unfulfilled.  Not emotionally, but weddingally (yes, I made that word up… keep reading).  Could this be a form of postpartum depression?  Am I really feeling this way!?

What do you to do combat this wacky, weird, indescribable feeling? Keep on keepin’ on and remind yourself when you get lost in mason jars and glitter that it’s not about the wedding, it’s about the marriage.

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