The vendor-bride relationship is a tricky one.  Rather, it can be.  An integral element of our wedding was the fact that I worked with a bunch of people I genuinely trusted.  I had one problem-vendor, and this post is stemming from my relationship with him and some advice I can offer you guys moving forward.

My photographer was one of my long-time friends (no surprise there that she knew what I wanted and we worked together swimmingly), my florist was the Harris Teeter in Reston (the lady that managed floral was very knowledgeable and helpful – the ONE time I went, the morning of the wedding), I got the rest of my flowers (that I absolutely had to have and didn’t want to leave to chance) from BloomsByTheBox.com (who’s customer service was fantastic and I had not one worry about my billy balls arriving on time), the venue was a historical property… nothing tough about it, the folks who managed it were a joy to work with, the caterer was our favorite BBQ joint (and they were on time, quick, professional, and provided us with killer food), my dress was a nightmare, but that’s because I bought it from David’s Bridal (so I had to kinda expect that).  The one iffy relationship was that with my DJ.

I wasn’t satisfied with the process used to prepare for my wedding.  I really liked my DJ, just had some issues with the company that pimped him out (sounds terrible, but it’s kinda funny, and that’s how it worked… he didn’t work for them directly). I dealt with the head honcho of the DJ/Entertainment company and didn’t even know who my DJ was until about a week before the wedding, the head honcho was incredibly difficult to get a hold of, and I felt unimportant.

There are a couple things that we, as brides, need to understand:

1. We are just another client to these vendors. This is what these people do for a living, year-round, day in, day out.
2. We are paying for the product(s) or service(s) that these vendors provide; we’ll get them (and if we don’t, we should have a contract to cover our ass and sue later )

That all being said, the differences between a good vendor and an a-hole vendor are as follows:

1. To a good vendor, every client matters (even though we’re one of many)
2. There’s no question – of course you’ll get what you paid for, and then some
3. A good vendor loves what they do and it shows

If you’re like me, and wind up dealing with a not-so-great or not-so-invested vendor, here are a few tips on how to handle the situation (I know it can be tough when wedding planning to keep your head on straight and have the clarity to professionally stand your ground, so you’re welcome for the help!):

1. Stand your ground. This is your wedding, and there is no harm in asserting yourself and being firm in demanding what you’re paying for. As long as you do this respectfully and professionally, you’ve got nothing to lose.
2. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you. If you’re not planning on ditching a crappy vendor, and you want to give them a piece of your mind; do so gently.  Remember, if they’re crappy in the first place, what’s to stop them from being even crappier after you tear them a new one while on a bridal tirade? Bad idea. Keep your cool.
3. Keep and refer to your contract.  As long as you have a solid agreement to begin with, you’re covered.  Show these guys that you k now what you’re talking about… “Well, according to our contract… xyz…”
4. Don’t make idle threats. I’d say threats are a bad idea across the board (especially if this conversation is happening prior to your wedding), but if you absolutely must, then make sure EVERYTHING you say is factual.
5. Don’t be a bridezilla. It’s wacko brides who lose their cool and rant and rave about their perfect day that makes crappy vendors have no respect for us.  Keep it together and compose your talking points BEFOREHAND, you’ll impress them, swear!

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